“Children who grow up without their biological father are more likely to be unemployed, commit crime and leave education early, according to research by think tank Civitas.

They are also twice as likely to be homeless.

Lone-parent families are three times more likely to live in rented accommodation than couples with children and are also more likely to live in homes that fall below minimum standards.“

That quote is taken from todays Metro. I want to find the researcher who did the study and shove the newspaper up his ARSE!!!

If it said children from, dare I say it, children from “Black” families there would be uproar “THAT’S RACIST” blahblahblah. If it said children from same sex family the cry would be for equality So why is that statement NOT considered biased???.

I was bought up in a single parent family.

My biological father died when I was only 4 my mom didn’t marry my stepdad until I was 20. I went to school passed my exams and then proceeded into further education and I didn’t have to mug any old women to pay my way. After I left I got a JOB…you know coming from a single parent family I thought I’d try and break the mould No I didn’t go on to University but hell I don’t feel I’ve missed out because of it. My time will come when my own family is older,

Talking of my family until recently I was very much a single parent too….and guess what it was MY choice for it to be that way. I walked out on his Dad, because among other reasons we were making each other VERY UNHAPPY and surely its healthier for my child to be bought up in a happy loving environment , with access to both parents just at different times, then if we’d have stayed together and torn each other to shreds daily???

YES I rent not OWN my home, but it doesn’t fall anywhere near “minimum standard” and five doors away lives a friend of mine who is also a single parent and guess what…her home is more than adequate for her and her son too, oh and some of the kids at the blonde kids school come from single parent families and guess what they all live in good homes too!! I’d love to know where these “researchers” get there information from???

Also taken from the same article

‘Having just one income is likely to affect the child.”

Erm, of course it does!!! Jordan really suffered when I was the only one bringing money in I mean hey he never got treats, he only ate Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays because i couldn’t afford it the rest of the time and he was living in my next door neighbors cousins children’s hand me downs!!

Give me a break, so he only got treated once or twice a week instead of daily and no we don’t jet off around the world on holiday once a year but we ate fresh food and got near to the RDA of fruit and veg. Hell I thought I was bringing up a well rounded happy individual not a materialistic spoilt little brat like a lot of the children that supposedly come from two parent families!!

I wonder if Fred and Rosemary West’s children thought they were getting a better deal for having two live in parents….I think not!!

Read the full article HERE

This week I have mostly been trying (unsuccessfully) to avoid family bullshit!

A rather productive way to spend your time if you just KNOW you’re going to put your foot in it and say something to offend someone if left in a room for any length of time with any of them or if you really really REALLY don’t want to get stuck in the middle of the ongoing family argument. An argument that has been simmering behind insincere smiles and just under the surface waiting for the right opportunity to raise its ugly head since before we crawled out of whatever swamp we started out life in, grew two legs, and called ourself human.

A rather difficult thing to do when your younger sister finally leaves home and distant relatives come to visit all in one week!!

I have never, NEVER known a family as dysfunctional as mine. The only way to communicate to them in a group scenario is through an alcoholic mist and twice this last week I have been confronted by the prospect of spending time in a social situation actually conversing with them!!

SCENE ONE: My sisters (how can I forget its new she reminds me every 30 seconds) house.

I was invited for the “guided tour” the day after she picked up her keys. I arrive at the allocated time (I wouldn’t even consider incurring the wrath of her fiery temper if I dared to turn up late) and (as sisters do) let myself into the front door. First thing I notice is my nan cleaning in the kitchen and my grandad putting up curtain poles in the living room waxing lyrical about how he likes to help out and he’d do anything if we asked him to. I was NOT happy!!!

Understandably so when you think that I have lived in my current house for quite some time and asked my grandad TWO YEARS AGO to help me plumb in a shower, I’ll attempt most D.I.Y. myself but when it comes to electrics AND water there is no way I’m going near it, I’m still waiting!!! My grandparents have never even been to my house for a cup of tea and here they are a day after Emma has picked up her keys, but like a good little pixie I say nothing and continue on the tour anyway

15 minutes into the visit I’m in the front bedroom being nosy out of the widow (as you do) (the house isn’t that big it took me 15 minutes to get upstairs but I was intentionally taking my time to avoid the hammering/drilling downstairs) and I see my aunts people carrier pull up outside, and not one not two but FOUR other members of my extended family pile out….I was far too sober for that size a gathering so I ran down stairs announced that I was leaving and dragged James the hell out of there!

SCENE TWO: The “local”

About once a year my mothers eldest brother graces us with a visit (he was the sensible one and moved a few hundred miles away!). So about once a year my Nan goes all gooey with wonder of all her children being in the same place at the same time. So despite the fact that many of the siblings can only just stand to be in the same room together and even more of the grandkids cant even bring themselves to speak to each she still INSISTS we all get together for food and/or drinks because “You never know this might be the last time I get the chance to see you all together”, (Gotta give her credit this little guilt trip works every time) So to keep the peace with her we are forced into playing happy families, So off the the local old mans pub we trotted like good little “Waltons”.

All things considered as family gatherings go this only ended up with everyone pissed to get over the long awkward silences that ALWAYS start the night, one person crying, as far as I know no one offended, only one broken glass and one VERY broken digital camera after it had been used as a football, so wasn’t THAT bad.

Not when you consider that the one last July, (I have managed to avoid all family occasions and in fact MOST of the family since then and was not blogged about at the time as I really didn’t want to even admit I was related to these people) resulted in 2 full scale family arguments, 2 fights with neighbors in the street, plenty of tears and tantrums…0h and an ambulance being called for one of the kids….oh sorry my mistake my aunts (now ex) “toy boy” when he fell and broke his arm while trying to piss off his “step son” playing football in the road!

But I still ended the night feeling just as, if not more so, depressed than that night back in July.

I went with the intention of pleasing my Nan, seeing my uncle and grinning and baring it, And that’s what I did with a large dose of Jack Daniels inside me but came away with the realization that with my family, even when everyone is making the effort to get along, THAT drunken haze of half hearted, souless conversation and forced smiles is as good as it gets!!

This morning I woke to find the sun was shining and it was a beautiful morning. It was 9:30 The blonde kid had kept himself amused for however long i had been sleeping for since he was awake. And I feel refreshed.

10 minutes after awakening having obviously heard me stir Jordan, my angel, arrives at the side of my bed hands behind his back…

“Mom, I’ve made you breakfast bagels”

AW the little sweetheart, so with a big grin I sit and hold out my hands for the forthcoming “treat” to be handed an empty plate.

“APRIL FOOLS” he screamed.

Little B*****D!!

I am hungover, Not in an “Oh my god, I feel sick I am never going to drink again…do you hear me NEVER again” kind of way. More like “I feel like the cat took a crap in my mouth and I need to get more sleep” kind of way.

But it’s ok because I can actually enjoy last night, I can look back and think “yes every drink was worth it (even that last vodka that I wasn’t sure about at the time)” I got out of bed without feeling sick or setting of the jack hammer in my head that has taken residence on previous occasions in similar circumstance . And I can also (kind of) enjoy the fact that it was just before 8:30 and I was awake!

Last night was brilliant, Fantastic, Amazing!!

Well it was if you’re not one of the lads in the band whom are all suicidal today because the sound wasn’t quite right (come on lads chins up, a bands job is to entertain, and that you did!)
Or if you are my neighbor, who came out with myself and entourage not having met anyone other than me and James before getting absolutely wasted and didn’t quite make it back in the taxi with us (or home alone by all accounts, although she assures me she WAS a good girl so that’s o.k then I suppose??) BUT it was for me. I felt like I was on a proper girls night out and I haven’t been on one of those for far too long, I talked to numerous people, some old faces, some new, drank copious amounts of Jack Daniels, Vodka and Malibu (not all at the same time of course) and just had so much fun.

Now with much fortune in my “delicate” state today has been a lazy day, with a capital L!!

After picking the blonde one up from the sitters (my grandparents) I went home ate American bagels, drank tea, said goodbye to sleepy friends, then I went back to bed and in a style that makes me want to run around screaming “I HAVE THE BESTEST SON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD” (which I have, but just to confirm it) Jordan decided today was a Saturday so would be a lazy day and came to bed with me.

We sat and watched 5 episodes of Scrubs and he just let mommy be the whining, miserable, hungover, over tired monster she wanted to be for the full 2 and a half hours it took. He demanded nothing but the occasional cuddle, no unreasonable request for attention, no demands for drinks/sweets/change of channel and nothing that meant I even had to move my head off the pillow (except for the one instance when we decided we both had to sit up and pull faces at James who was working the other side of the bedroom).

God dammit I love that child!

Feeling much revived, we got up in time for a visit from the in laws, with enough energy to make a sea turtle out of plaster cast in a horrible rubber mold (guess what we’ll be painting tomorrow) and to realize I’ve managed to avoid any housework for yet another whole day WINNER!

Now its another night, Jordan is back in bed albeit his own this time and I am putting serious consideration into getting back into my own…I wonder if I can con James into making me a cup of tea and bringing it up to me if I do??

I haven’t posted in so long, and I hate posts that start with me saying I suck for not blogging!!

I have been inspired to rant about many a thing but quite got round to getting it all off my chest. So after conversations with people about blogging I have decided to resurrect my own, I will try to blog more frequently, Hell not even I’m ambitious enough to promise daily updates but I will try and be more regular, and I’m not talking about in the bathroom.

For now however I shall just leave you with this picture of Jordan in make up….hell what are kids for if not to dress up as rock stars and shoot your own music videos??

It seems I have nothing to say unless I’m moaning and what a sorry state of affairs this is. So today I’m going to post about only good things, my new years resolutions, and stuff I’ve been thinking about.

Firstly today has been a “nice” day. Nice because it wasn’t too stressful at work ( I avoided the dreaded one like the plague), My mom had the blonde kid after school as she hasn’t seen him since Christmas, So I came hope to an empty house and sat in the peace and quiet for a couple of hours until, Al came over for something to eat. He has only just left after plenty of pizza, many rounds of “Guitar Hero” and a bottle of wine.

We don’t do that often enough anymore!

Now to my resolutions:

Firstly YAY to me for last years resolution, It was to quit smoking and I did it. So what if it took me a couple of weeks.

OK, months. Well till the end of April to do it but it was done in 2006 so that’s an achievement. SO to this year I have doubled the target resolutions and have 2.

#1 I must must must find a new job!! Hopefully this will be done quicker than quitting smoking last year for all the reasons in my last post, But we wont go there.

#2 it is to make more time for people, I seem to spend a lot of time complaining that nobody ever comes to my house to visit me when with hindsight I don’t “actually” get around to inviting that many people over. I just presume they know they’re welcome and “expect” them to drop by. Well no more, by the end of January I will have purchased a new dining table and invites shall be sent out a plenty…just god help poor James if too many of them get turned down I do my own head in whining sometimes yet he just sits there and lets me!

I suppose really both my resolutions are about me being more pro-active, I really need to start looking out for myself with the zest I’ve thrown into other things, like work and the school for example. Only this time I get to benefit from it. Its not that I don’t get a lot out of helping others but i think I realised that it’s about time I did something for ME!!

Talking of the school, things are moving along there. It was the end of the “Informal Consultation” period last week, and the governing body have sent a report comprising of all the errors in the councils proposal back to them and have formally asked one of the other schools to enter into a federation with us, Good news if they accept because no schools will have to close then!!!

Saturday 20th we’re still having the rally, which I know the kids are looking forward to, I really hope we have a good turn out. I hope just because the most “interactive” stage is over (the bit where we get to have our say) that people will still understand the need more than ever now for a united front and a show of strength and support. this is where the decision making process starts in earnest!! However I’m sure I’ll of pictures of students, teachers and parents alike all making fools of themselves afterwards. After all this is supposed to be about the kids so it should be a fun day!

Oh my…… I have just glanced at the clock and my brain has just screamed HOW AM I STILL AWAKE, after a serious bout of insomnia last night I’ve had a day solely fuelled by caffeine and now I’m fit to drop.

I have no doubt that I will need to revisit and edit these ramblings of a very tired but quite content 26 year old tomorrow, but for now….adieu.