I’m feeling much brighter about things today, after spending a ridiculous ammount of time trying to sort my head out the last week and spending nearly 6 hours last night crying solidly (and anyone who knows me well enough will know thats not like me) I woke up this morning feeling a little calmer and more subdued.

I sorted out the work problem I hope, or rather I’ve had the work issue sorted out for me, My Assistant Manager has found an extra 7 1/2 hours to add on to my contract so that I dont have to leave where I work now….so that’s one less thing to worry about. Also it was nice to know that apparently I’m a valued member of staff who they actually want to keep working there!

Todays Friday and other than spending the last week feeling sorry for myself I haven’t done a lot (unless you call my manager taking to calling me pie-face an event?? no I dont get it either).
The weekend is here and what have I got planned…erm friday night well obviously nothing as i’m sitting here writing about it but I am planning on watching some more 24 (I’m 16 hours into Season 3 now),

Saturday I’m spending the day with my son, Dont know what were going to do yet probably some baking or painting although painting might not be such a good idea as last time I had that bright idea I painted him BLUE!!! (dont ask),I really should get some phots up on here to show you what I’m talking about. On the evening I’m going to a once in a lifetime gig LOL!! Some friends of mine have got together to put a gig and if i’m totally honest i’m a bit dubious of what to expect…check out their web site and see what i mean at www.scrat.co.uk . Whatever happens it’ll be a good (amusing??) night. Then Sunday I’ll be meeting my mom in Walsall with my son to take him to the art workshop at the local Art Gallery, Sunday evening will be the usual mad dash to make sure I got everything ready for school/work the next day.

So thats me probably wont post again till next week and by then I’ll probably have found something else to complain about… I should try not to spend so much time alone I’m a much happier person when I’m around others! LOL

I have to find a new job, I’m gutted cause I LOVE WHAT I DO!!! It just doesn’t pay enough. And even though I’m due a payrise in November I’m still not going to have enough hours for the payrise to do me any good!!!

So I started looking….. I’m a hard, considerate worker, I’m a fast learner and have 100ttendance and punctuality record in my current place of employment….YET NOBODY WANTS TO EMPLOY ME,

WHY…cause I’m a single parent!!! Thats not the official line of course but theres always an excuse!!

I cant start before school hours and I can’t work the first weekend of every month cause I haven’t babysitters for those times BUT I’m more than happy to work up untill 18:30 everyday and the weekends I’m free but no one wants to take me on…as soon as tey start with the questions like…”What will you do if your son gets ill?”, and “Who willl care for him during school holidays?” I may as well pick up my stuff and leave….don’t get me wrong I always get the party line of “Not enough experiance” or (and this is my favourte) “You’re over qualified” but in reality its more a case of “We dont want you cause your a Mom”

IT’S ALL SHIT!!!

It’s just past the middle of the week and I have nothing to say….

Monday – Did nothing.
Tuesday – Took son to football training then did nothing.
Wednesday – Picked son up from friends on the way home from work then did nothing.
Thursday – Nothing planned.

I have the horrible feeling that life is just passing me by, since I split with my ex and fell out with my best friend all within a week of each other I feel well…out on a limb, It feels like that first day in school where everyone seems to know everyone else and exactly where they’re supposed to be and there I am wondering around with no one to ask for help cause there is no one there to talk to….I miss having someone to call just because and to say “Hi” occasionally, regardless that I have nothing of interest to say. I miss just sitting with someone or knowing the next time I’m going to get an adult conversation, As it is I seem to wake up day after day and if i dont make any plans I wont be doing anything cause I know no one will call me to make plans to do something.

Hmmm..I’m going to go before this turns into a real sob story!

Oh what a weekend, went out with my sisiter Friday night (see previous post) let me just say thank you to her now….I really didn’t need reminding ALL NIGHT that I’m a 25 year old single parent who cant hold down a relationship, who’s last relationship was a pile of shit and have no friends.

Saturday was an equally strange day, went to the Wharf in Walsall for some lunch with Steve, text James to say we were there so I could pick up my ticket for next weeks gig, he came and sat with us for 10mins and while he was there I spotted my ex across the bar, which botherd me less than I thought it would so I finished my drinks then we left…..
It was this point I started getting really bothered as to get to the car park we had to pass aforementioned ex’s table…

…and he was there with another girl!!

This in itself didn’t bother me, but the girl he was with REALLY REALLY bothered me, GRRRR!!! of all the people I could have seen him with its the one I most expected to see, as its the girl he swore to me nothing was going on with, even though I caught him lying about text messages they were sending each other WHILE I WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM AT MY FRIENDS WEDDING ( he told me it was his friend he was talking to although I soon found out otherwise) AND he would always sit and drink with when I wasn’t about but as soon as I was there she’d cut him and me dead?? And I wasn’t being paranoid it was picked up by others too…..

…..So I preceeded to send a ranting text to Catherine (sorry again hun) go home, scrub my living room clean while listening to VERY loud music and denouncing all men as lying tossers!! (sorry to the nice men but I’ve yet to be in a relationship with one) THEN as Al had invited himself round I rang Steve to get him there too and drank myself silly in the company of Mr Jack Daniels..

Sunday I awoke not feeling my best (Jacks great to go to sleep with but not so hot to wake up with the morning after) so I tentivaly edged downstairs to kick Al off the sofa where he’d crashed the night before to sit and feel sorry for myself!

Then I recieved a phone call off my mate Sharon who in my tender state managed to totally befuddle me with her talk and some how I’ve agreed to adopt her pet Rabbit!!

So in all a FANTASTIC weekend, Drink, Abusive sisters, Lying Ex’s and friends Rabbits!!!

Whenever I get up in the morning, go in bathroom or walk down the stairs at my Mom’s house I usually catch sight of myself in a mirror and I always presumed the person looking back at me was…well ME. Apparently not, in the last 3 weeks I have been told i look like KT Tunstall no less than 8 times by various people, I’m not complaining as she is very pretty BUT I cant see the likeness myself a.she is like 5′ 0″ and I’m 5′ 5″ she has LONG dark hair mine is shoulder length and thats just the obvious differences.

When I was first told I had little idea of what KT looked like, I knew her songs but as for looks wise…no idea SO I asked the group of girls I teach at the Drama Workshop and my work friends if they agreed, And I thought back to other people I’d been compared to in the past, I was rather alarmed at the ammount of people i’m supposed to resemble..

1. KT Tunstall
2. Davina McCall
3. Helena Beckensdale (Ross english wife from Friends)
4. Kat from Eastenders
5. Tracy from Coronation Street
6. (and this confused me at first think Friends) Rachaels Features with Monicas colouring.
7. And apparently one of the girls thought that when I was blonde I looked like Rachael Stevens (from Sclub7)???

Now I have to admit I’m flattered by some of these comparisons BUT really I always thought that I looked like ……ME!!!

I finshed watching 24 (season 2) Monday, I would have left a blog then or even Tuesday night but I was trying to catch up with the house work and other stuff I’d failed to do during my mammoth viewing session!!

Season 3 here I come!!!

Tuesday night I also spent an hour standing in the middle of a muddy field…Yes my son decided to join a football team!!

Bless him…So now my tuesday evenings are going to consist of a load of bitchness and cat calling as all the over possesive, self obsessed parents do the whole..”My son is better than yours!!” on the touch line!! Oh well if thats what he wants to do, so be it! I dont mind really as long as he doesn’t get too competative, the excercise will do him good and i’m sure he’ll find it fun!! (also it means i get to take the piss out of the aforementioned parents on a regular basis)!! so it could be worse.

Friday night I’m supposed to be going for a meal with my sister, if she remembers or her boyfriend doesn’t ask her to something else before then…wish me luck. An evening with the “up market” (meaning she swears by D&G and Gucci as opposed to Burberry) Chav, WHAT JOY!! I’m gonna get the third degree on my clothes, friends and taste in music, sometimes you’d think she was the eldest!!! Can’t you tell i’m looking forward to it!!

After rewatching season one, and viewing the last 4 hours Friday night I decided to extend my recovery programme yesterday (i.e sitting feeling sorry for myself and eating chocolate) to include Season two I’m just about to start disk 5 so I’m 16 hours into the day and I’ve just dragged myself away from the DVD to check my email…

… I thought a dose of reality would probably be beneficial at this point to stop my eyes turning square and me begining to believe I’m an undercover CTU agent or Jack Bauer wife LOL….well maybe that wouldn’t happen but you know.

Ok so break over, just enough time to get a drink and a sandwich, next time I surface I may have it finsihed, then what will do with myself…

…actually I think I know what I’ll do, Probably start on “Without a Trace”!!