..are a bloody pain in the arse!!!

3 times in half an hour I got stopped my the same chap today…”Had any accidents recently love!”…

DO I LOOK LIKE I’VE BEEN IN A BLOODY ACCIDENT!!! Am I limping/on cutches/wearing bandages?? Do I look battered/bruised/in pain?. The answer to all of the above is NO NO NO, I’m fine thank you! If I had have been in an accident would I really be bothering going into town on a bloody FREEZING Wednesday afternoon? and do they really think if had have had an accident I’d want one of their blood sucking companies to represent me??

I appriciate that they are only their to do their job, But it was cold I was very busy and 3 times was a bit excessive and I’d already tried the polite “No, Thank you” So, I did shut him up the last time he approached me. He’d changed his approach slightly and instead of accident I got asked…”Have you been injured lately beautiful?”…My response???

“NO, BUT YOU WILL BE IF YOU ASK ME THAT ONCE MORE!! AND DONT CALL ME BEAUTIFUL!!!”

He left me alone after that.

…that’s says “If your a nutter,Harass ME!!!”

Standing outside the fire escape at work today having a crafty cigarette, when approached by a bloke…(bare in mind my back is against the door and its in a three foot square alcove and I really have nowhere to go)….

Man: (shakes my hand) Oh you have a nice firm grip there?
Me: Thank you, How may I help you? (I’m standing outside work so presume its a customer)
Man: Well, are you married??
Me: No.
Man: In that case, Can I have your number?
Me: Sorry, I have a boyfriend. (Blatent lie but obviously he doesn’t know that)
Man: Well do you want my number.
Me: Why? I dont even know you??
Man Well why, because your gorgeous and because its really hard for a black man to make friends with white females. you want to be my friend dont you??
Me: Oh erm..like I said I dont even know you..
Man: Well I’m Keith, (grabs me in a bear hug and rubs his crouch against me) So you going to be my friend?
Me: (looking for anyone to come to my rescue) erm…erm… I dont think my boyfriend would appriciate me taking strangers phone numbers!!
Keith: Well (looks at my name badge) STEPH!!, You go running back to your WHITE boyfriend I’m sure he has more to offer than a black man, I bet he has a good job, I bet he has a nice car. I’m sure he’s better than any black man would be, Go on then you obviously don’t need any more friends, i bet you haven’t even got ONE black friend!!
Me: (Thinking oh my god get me out off here) I’m needed back inside, excuse me..
Keith: You just dont wantto be seen talking to a black man do you??
Me: No, really I have to get back inside…
Keith: (Grabs me in ANOTHER bear hug) So were friends then, cool I’ll call in the shop and see you some time…
Me: Can you let me go now??
Keith: Erm yeah ok, Your too good for your white boyfriend

…and then as he disappears into the crowd on Dudley Street I virtually RUN back into the shop!!!

I learnt an important lesson today…..

…Always stand where someone can see you to have a cigarette… But saying that the people I work with would have only stood and watched, laughed at me and then used it as ammunition to take the mickey out of me all day!!

I attract all the NUTTERS!!

Also we had the auditors in the store today,After spending most the morning staring at one of then I suddenly realised where I’d seen him before, it was Craig, a friend(?)/co-worker who I hadn’t seen in seven years and was about to move into a house share with when he disappeared off the face of the planet! We both kind of realised who the other one was at the same time, it was like OH MY GOD ITS YOU!!!

We got talking and I thought I better broach the subject of what happened for him to disappear the way he did, It turns out he didn’t disappear..My shit head ex who was also going to share with us, screwed him out of his deposit money. I spent the rest of the day not knowing whether to apologise, Offer to repay him, or what, feeling very akward and very resposible for something I didn’t even know about!! I kinda avoided talking to him for a while, which is the wimps way out I know but what would YOU do??

Anyway I dont think he holds it against me as I think he could tell by my reaction I knew nothing about it, that and when me and my boss were joking about hating men he did pipe up and say “Well it sounds like Steph has good reason too”.

At least I hope he doesn’t hold it against me as I’m working with him ALL day tomorrow!!

…the men in my mom’s house are incapable of looking after themselves.

My mom has gone away and the way my stepdad and brother have reacted you’d think she was NEVER coming back! I went to pick her up this morning to dispatch her to the train station in Birmingham and there they were looking all forlorn asking questions at a ridiculous rate… Wheres my socks?, What time are the fish fed?, Who’ll make my sandwiches?, Where’s the bread kept?, What day do the binmen come? etc etc etc… I promised to call back this evening, as they only live round the corner from me, and cook them some dinner, so I did, Rogan Josh, It was fantastic (even if I do say so myself) and I think my stepdad have just consumed enough to sink the Titanic twice over, I’m stuffed!

So anyway I took my mom into the city centre and safely deposited her onto her connecting train and then meandered into town to peruse the shelves of random computer stores trying to find this damn Nintendo THING Jordan wants for christmas,

Now, It is the middle of November, Christmas is less than 6 weeks away SO please tell me why shops have yet to employ extra christmas staff??? And give the staff they have some god damn customer service training!!! 45 minutes I stood in a queue in Game, FORTY FIVE MINUTES to explain to an assistant that I’d been sent over from the Wolverhampton branch to find out if and whan they would be likely to be stocking the new Nintendo DS as wolverhampton had explained to me that you (birmingham) would be getting some in first, Just to be told, “erm…*sniff*…I dont know…*sniff*… have you tried another branch maybe erm yeah”, Do you think its one of the criterea you have to meet to work in one of these shops?? I can picture the ad….

..that the youth of today do have a sense of humour, either that or I’ve probably been laughing at something that nobody else will find funny.

Yesterday after I’d finished work myself, Al and Kelly headed to our “local” to watch the England match (3-2 what a result) anyway ,on the way we had to cross Queen Square passing the black staute of Prince Albert, or as its known locally, The Man on the Horse.. as we got nearer we could see 2 police cars, 4 policemen and a BIG crowd of kids staring up at the horse and everyone (including the police) were giggling.

Some bright spark had, instead of being deliberatly destructive and wasting their time running round town with a can of spray paint , taken the time and exerted the enegy into climbing onto the back of the statue and sprayed the horses’ genitals white with fake snow!!

The whole episode was made funnier as the culprits were all wearing black themselves and covered in the stuff, yet still tried denying all knowledge to the amused police, they were let off with a quick telling off as they hadn’t really done any damage, after all it was only fake snow not paint, and everyone had had a good laugh about it.

BUT what was funnier was arriving at the same spot this morning, just in time to see the Remeberance Service Parade and watching the veterans faces as they arrived on Queen Square to be confronted with the back end of a black horse with a huge pair of white…. well you can use your imagination lets just say that the statue is very life like and all in proportion!!

…but I’m as close as I’m going to get!

Its official (well nearly), for the doubters, the disbelievers and the down right judgemental and abusive….

….I AM A GOOD PARENT, regardless (or in spite of I’m not sure which) of my age and the fact that I am very much single!!

I have just returned home from my sons parents evening and I think I have just sat through the best hour of any parents life! It was so nice to sit there and be told that your child is excelling in subjects, is well behaved, conscientious, considerate and I quote “Makes it a pleasure to be in the classroom with him.”.

The blood, sweat and tears any parent sheds’ for their child comes as par for the course, but to sit there and be told that all that as paid off, and then some…

….I’ve never been prouder in my whole entire life!!!!!!

…cause I’m no superman,

Sorry during a conversation with Paul just I suddenly remembered how much I enjoy Scrubs!!!

Anyway back to me…I’ve had a quiet day really, went to work, still in the process of getting all the christmas prep done, Good news is hopefully this will be the last weekend I have to work untill christmas eve!! (fingers crossed but knowing my luck I’ll end up working them ALL)

Went out last night for a meal with Catherine, Steve and some others to celebrate Cat’s birthday, I had Steamed chicken, Chargrilled asparagus on sauteed potatoes and Beetroot Coulis.

I never knew chickens could swim…well at least this one had to, there was that much coulis on my plate, a breast of chicken in a sea of RED looked like something off the set for Carrie, but all that aside it was delicious!

So anyway I had a very lovely lovely evening in the company of quite possibly the NICEST couple in the world and delicious meal and friendly conversation.

One of the best Monday evenings I’ve had in a long while!

I did have a whole list of things I did today to tell you but none of that counts because…

….MY BABY BOY WON HIS CLASS TROPHY FOR LAST TERM.

It was awarded for (and I quote) BEING CONSIDERATE KIND AND CARING IN THE CLASSROOM AS WELL AS MAINTAINING A GOOD STANDARD OR PROGRESS IN ALL AREAS OF HIS STUDIES!!!

…I’m a proud Mom tonight and I am no longer dreading parents evening on Wedsnesday!!