I am fed up, completely and utterly fed up and disillusioned with life in general at the moment. I’m sick and tired of fighting my way through a bottomless pit of daily battles, the battle through the “office” politics at work, “family “politics” at home and more recently “playground” politics at school, the whole you can’t say this/do that because it will upset …… (Insert random name here), don’t stand there because it will put …… (again random name) nose out of joint, has finally got to me. IS THERE NOWHERE IN THE PLANET YOU CAN TRULY RELAX, BE YOURSELF AND (god forbid) ENJOY YOURSELF!!! So I give up and I’m not going to play anymore!!

What’s brought this on you may ask, well it seems that no matter what I do I’m constantly WRONG, I’ve tried being the person who is constantly smiling, playing along and making life easier by shutting up and putting up, I’ve played the game in work when everyone is pissed off and I’ve been the one to sort it all out, the one at home who gets called upon in a crisis to put things right, run round like an idiot and solve everyone’s problems, The one who has yet to complete her own Christmas shopping as the day I’d set aside to do it I got roped into helping my sister with finishing hers and I DID IT WITHOUT COMPLAINING!!

But not anymore it seems whatever I do I’m criticized for EXAMPLE AT WORK:
My ATV (Average Transaction Value for those who are vaguely interested) is lower than it is usually £20 down an what I could be achieving and my manager has said that this isn’t good enough…regardless of the fact that my other 3 stats are off the scale and in the 3 quarters I’ve been working there I have had the highest stats CONSISTENTLY in store and have won “star” of the region ALL 3 TIMES, Regardless that in the last 3 weeks I have put £300 MORE insurance sale through the till than ANY OTHER member of staff in the building!! My managers’ idea of encouraging me to work harder and inspire me to want to achieve is to FORGET all this and only condemn me for not obtaining that elusive £20. Oh and in an inspired piece of managerial work he has given me the 6 AM start Christmas eve regardless of the fact this will be the last chance I’m going to get to see my son until after the holidays, and why do I have to do this?? BECAUSE in the laws of office politics I can’t complain about this because and I quote “I won’t be behaving like a team player!” Dont you just love his motivational techniques!!

AT HOME: I have put myself out the last few weeks to make life easier for my mom as she’s been having huge rows with my step dad (which hopefully have been sorted now) and on top of which she’s not been very well. I’ve helped around the house, I’ve done most of her Christmas shopping for her, even going as far as buying her Meat hamper as she hasn’t had time to get to the butchers, on top of this I’ve been helping my sister out organizing her Christmas, and looking after my son. It was and is me that comes running every time something needed to be done. Last night I reminded my sister (for the 1000th time in 3 weeks) That I needed a cheque from her to pay for some things SHE had ordered for HER boyfriend off my Ebay account as I was getting email from the seller basically telling me I was out of order for not paying, AND get this I WAS OUT OF ORDER for asking her, apparently I was being a “selfish bitch” for asking her for at as she hadn’t got time to think about it now, she’d just got on from work and was in a rush to get to her boyfriends, AND GET THIS, my mom told me to “Stop rocking the boat Stephenie” “Why couldn’t you have waited till the weekend to speak to her” and “You being the eldest should have more consideration” HELLO…did I miss something….she order she doesn’t pay I’m in the wrong with the seller, my sister AND my parents???

I GIVE UP!!!