I love being a Mom, I love being a Mom more than anything else in the world…and this dude makes it easy!

Despite it now being March 2010 I still have my 2009 calendar up in my kitchen, not because I’m particularly lazy (but I am) but because it’s about 50 shades of awesome!

Of course every parent thinks their kids work is amazing, fantastic, fabulous, first rate etc, but this is! I like it so much because while it’s not the work of art Matisse, Banksy or Tracy Emin could produce, and it’s no Shakespearean prose, Hell it’s even below the quality of work TBK can produce when he wants to, every time I read I can’t help but smile.

I read it and remember that it’s good to have imagination and to never ever stifle his!

The Magic Box

In my box I will put a massive, dirty and dangereus exploding army tank. The feel of silky, shiny, sparkly, quick Sahara sand and a door leading to a u.f.o.

In my box I will put the smell of super noodles cooking the sight of presents round the tree and the sound of rock music.

My box is fashioned from high tech lock and dinosaur skin cover.

And hinges made from a alligator jaw.

Spelling mistakes are all his own!

This evening I came home to find TBK once again beating the crap out of his alien friends on Halo3. Since having had the xBox for Christmas he’s spent more time than I’ve ever let him before seated in front of his computer playing games.

I’ve alieviated myself of some the guilt of being one of ‘those’ parents who sits their children in front of the box to entertain themselves by a. Convincing myself that with xBox live at least it’s social, as in he might be by himself but he’s not playing alone and b. Once the evenings are lighter and the weather warmer he’ll be back out on his bike and in and out the front door like a yoyo just like the last few summers.

I say some of the guilt as I’d still had doubts, I was still worried of the ‘mind numbing effects of playing pointless video games’ and didn’t wish him to become a statistic of the illiterate generation we hear so much about in the media.

I know I’ve been worrying unnecessarily as my mis-spent youth visiting friends houses and setting up our own LAN parties for weekend long games of Quake hardly set my development back at all – and you’ve only got to have a conversation with TBK to see he’s a well rounded 10year old, but as a parent you can’t help but worry.

I discovered needn’t have!

This evening TBK showed me in style why I have no need to worry about computer games stunting his academic development.

Whilst in the virtual world of Halo he was running across a sandtrap and jumping to strike a competitor, gravity hammer in hand, In the real world he’s sitting in the arm chair screaming “Onomatopoeia” at the screen and the following exchange took place ..

Me: why did you say that? Do you know what Onomatopoeia means?

TBK: yeah!

Me: explain then….

TBK: it’s when a word sounds like its spelt, like bang, and the gravity hammer goes bang when you hit something, so….Onomatopoeia!

Me: *speechless*

I don’t mind admitting that I think I was a whole lot older than 10 before I grasped the concept of onomatopoeia, in fact I can still remember learning about it in secondary school, which definitely made me older than 10, and I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life where I’ve had a discussion that included the word onomatopoeia or used it outside of that classroom before this evening.

So if TBK wants to spend his down time plugged into his xBox talking to the voices of his disembodied friends hunting aliens in “pointless video games” then so be it because it’s at times like this evening that I realise it’s not doing any harm at all!

I’m going on Holiday in October Term time AND taking my 9 year old son with me. I take him out of school every year for a holiday and for other activity days, as was agreed with his school that I be allowed to do so in advance of enrolling him.

Flexi Schooling is the correct term for it.

I take my responsibility as a parent very seriously and TBK consistently scores in the top percentile in his class  and receives glowing praise every year from his teachers, he has friends in school who come home to play (please read create havoc), and is fully integrated into society, he is bright and articulate, and as bias as I may be as his mother I do have the school reports to back this up, His education and social skills are not suffering because of it, if anything they are prospering.

YET the local paper is yet again reporting on an increase of “Truancy Fines” and while the article itself didn’t really rub me up the wrong way.  As, I will never have to pay a truancy fine for my son  as we’ve the proper protocol in place for our educational choices, But taking out holiday leave from the debate,  it still leaves the question unanswered of WHY these young people feel the need to play truant in the first place?*,  What really wound me up was the ignorance of some of the commentators who posted both before and after me.

These trips or in some peoples eyes “absenses” provide an education kids just can’t get when in school and also teaching shouldn’t just happen, and in our life DOESN’T, just happen from 9am – 3pm in the classroom!

On our holiday, just like last year, we will be teaching TBK Maths (currency conversion), Geography (he knows where we are going and surrounding countries) History, (we often like to visit cultural and historical monuments while away and actively encourage TBK to involve himself in the culture). R.E. (Turkey (this years destination)  is a predominantly a Muslim country) and much more, all on a one to one basis for periods of time he would never get in the classroom.

Previously he’s also been out of school to have the opportunity to attend HESFES, (the home educators seaside festival) where he has taken part in wood work and metal work excersizes,  fabric painting and labyrinth building amongst other things, using skills he’d have never developed sat behind a desk.

We’ve taken him out of school to have a hands on learning experience  as a zoo keeper for the day.  He’s had time off to go to an archery day, and to attend other exhibitions and events. Once, when he was in reception class, I even kept him off school on a Monday JUST so he could have a day off, As over the weekend he had participated in clay building with us, visited a monkey sanctuary, spent an afternoon playing drums and for a child of only 6 this was a lot, he needed the rest!

So how about we stop stereotyping parents who take their kids out of the classroom for any period of time as losers (as one commentator metioned) or selfish (as another did) and look at the beneifts these extra curricular activities can and do provide!

The real time and effort should be concentrated on dealing with the parents who’s children aren’t getting any education through truancy because the parents just don’t care!

* Yes I played truant as a teen, and I was duely punished for it by my mother, But I know why I did it. I hated my English teacher and she hated me, proven fact as she marked all my work down and told me , and my mom, I woudln’t get higher than a D,  myc oursework was sent to the invigulator and came back marked higher and I left school with a B (lit) and a C(lan)  Take that Mrs Smith!

Maybe if I’d have been listened to as a teen and moved to another class I’d have attended those sessions I missed and maybe that tis the answer now, listening to what our young people want!

]]> http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/06/16/educationeducationeducation/feed/ 0 http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/06/15/dudley-zoos-best-little-keeper/ http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/06/15/dudley-zoos-best-little-keeper/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:19:54 +0000 Steph http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/?p=547 (oops this has been sitting in my drafts, I thought I’d posted it)

Not Christmas gone, but the one before “Nanny Penny” bought TBK a voucher to become a zoo keeper for the day at Dudley Zoo.

It was going to be awesome we were going to book it and we were going to spend a lovely day meandering around and watch TBK play with the animals all day, but then the rain came, and last summer it rained, and rained, and rained, and rained and just to be helpful, as the deadline grew nearer for the voucher to be used  it rained some more. So, being the diligent parents we are we promptly called the zoo and brought an extension with the hope that a time would come when the rain stopped and we could go.

Finally it did, things started looking brighter and more importantly dryer  so we made the booking, set the date and forged ahead; But wouldn’t you know it as the date came around  it bloody poured down again, but, we thought FUCK IT and went anyway.

TBK got up close and personal with with some animals,  Some he was a lot happier around than others:

He met a rat ( he only wanted to hold it to upset Mom, who doesn’t really like Rats)…

…a chinchilla (his favourite)…

…Mr Lizard …

…a tapir (who is famous, apparently she’s from Longleat and was featured on Animal Park)…

…The Red Panda AKA The Firefox (the geek in me liked this)…

…and the penguins (his all time favourite part of the day).

All the animals had names but I’m damned if I can remember them now.

It was (despite the rain and me getting ill) a lovely day and TBK had a wonderful experience, made all the nicer for him (and us) by the lovely staff he accompanied. They were very informative and answered any questions he (or we) had about breeding programs, conservation etc. and the zoo in general, for instance; Did you know that most the buildings and animal enclosures are listed buildings, hence the desperate need for renovation but lack of planning permission! I didn’t, I feel slightly guilty for judging them over the state of the place now.  Even better though, while there even I made some new friends.

He’s disappearing though, not because we do less together, or because he’s any less of a focus in my life but because well he’s getting bigger. He now has more of a say in his life and he doesn’t always want to be put on here, because he’ll say something that he then realises has obviously amused me and his first response is “Please don’t put that on the internet” or I’ll pull out my camera and he’ll run for cover shouting “Don’t take any photos of me!”

So now I have to be more sneaky with my observation, I wait until he’s absorbed in an activity be it his homework, playing with friends or just amusing himself, and then stealthily I point and shoot….

“I…

I feel like I’m missing chunks of his childhood because I simply can’t remember what we were doing when or some of the faces he used to pull, or every little thing he said to amuse me.

I was so absorbed in just coping. Absorbed in trying to bring this “thing” into the world to love him and educate him, to feed and bathe him, and as he got older organise nursery and school and play dates,  all the time rushing around finding babysitters so I could go out and get to work on time.

I was so busy trying to balance his life and my life and still be me and with being a single mom that I forgot to remember and savour every moment. And of course not having a blog or decent camera back then to document it all as it happened meant so much more got lost in the mire that was my brain around that time.

And now he’s getting bigger and I’m begining to realise that soon my now not so little boy wont be be even this little anymore and I’m worried about what else I might forget. I still rush around trying to balance everything out, but now I have help and now I also realise how important it is to stop and remember. You only get one chance at this, so I try to remember and I try take as many photos as possible.

Be it ones he’s posed for, or ones like these when were waiting in the car and he doesn’t even know the camera is about…

…spy…

…until that is I’m spotted and he pulls THAT face and rolls his eyes in THAT way and gives me another ” MOM, STOP TAKING PHOTOS OF ME!” for me to remember!

…busted”

]]> http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/03/19/as-hes-getting-bigger/feed/ 0 http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/01/09/happy-new-year/ http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/01/09/happy-new-year/#comments Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:19:45 +0000 Steph http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/01/09/happy-new-year/ A belated start to my blogging this year – hopefully not a start as I mean to go on.

This is just a quick post to say 2009 is not the year I shall be allowing TBK to have a mullet hair cut* but is the year I shall be learning to use my new camera, exploring new ideas and trying to enjoy myself enormously.

Happy New Year to you all!

*The mullet cut is a whole conversation I don’t have time to blog about now but long story short he asked we addvised otherwise!

It has opened doors that criminals have been hiding behind. It has opened boxes where treasures are held. It has been the ignition key for a space rocket, a motor bike and a racing car and it has been used to lock up things only the imaination of an eight year old could think of and, it’s been used to release captives of things only eight year olds can think of.

Sunday morning on our way to Artsfest sitting on the train the key was produced from his uber cool R2D2 bag and it became a mystic key – it unlocked peoples head so TBK could see inside. He opened mine and I asked him what he could see.

“You have two doors mom, one with a heart on it and a big metal one”

“Oh whats behind them?”

“Well the metal one has a long corridor to another big door with a lock on it and behind that is all the things you don’t like, like teenagers and other things that annoy you and the heart has me and James and all our family inside.”

I thought about this for a minute then asked.

“So whats in James’ head then?” expecting teh same answer as the logic was sound 2 doors = 2 opposite emotions

“He has three doors but two of his has hearts on”

This confused me.

“Why does James have three?”

“Well Mom, James has three becaue one has his family Stat and Al and Penny and Rob and one has the things that annoy him, just the same as you, but the other one has just you and me in there because he chooses to love us!”

This week was my turn and here’s my entry:

An old picture but one that sums me up, Converse and my family!

*Where does this find you? Tell us the story of how you got there.*

Well right now as I’m writing this it’s Thursday evening and I’m at home, But
by the time it’s posted it shall be Friday morning so I’ll be at work in
Wolverhampton City Centre and I shall have arrived here on the bus from my
home 20 minutes away in the area I grew up in. I’m a yam yam born and bred,
I have lived in other places (Lichfield (too pretentious)and Wigan (Too
Rough)) but I returned “home” when I realised there really is no place
like it!

* Why do you moblog?*

I started moblogging as a way to pass the time when I was a poor lonely
single girl living alone with no one but the blonde kid for company.

James introduced me to it before “we” were “us” taking me into Birmingham
with a selection of Spied cards and I was hooked straight away, It’s so much
fun, kinda combining social networking with a hobby! Along with TBK telling
everyone we were getting married before we’d even smiled at each other in
THAT way maybe moblog was party responsible for the creating of James and me
as “us”?

* What were you hoping not to be asked for interview52?*

The typical Interview question used in lots of job interviews, Describe
yourself in 3 words….

* Now answer it!*

DOH! shoulda seen this coming. I’ll use the answer i gave in my last job
interview

LOUD, TALKATIVE and TENACIOUS – and they still gave me the job!

* What question would you like to ask the next moblog interviewee?*

I’m not going say now as with the new interview 52 rules I’m going to get
the chance to ask what I want! -

oh new rules everyone says what are they??

WELL:
The week after the last interview with FF when there was no interview I
though hmm thats strange, then the week after that when again there was
still no interview i though hmm even stranger It’s not like Nige to start
something and not finish it, so I emailed him something along the line of
“Oi you, giving up already?” and it transpires that Nige is a busy busy bee
and time had just ran away with him.
Organising questions and participants whilst running around the Notting Hill
Festival and generally having much fun was a time consuming thing so with
revised rules and with me being next on the “hit list” and silly enough to
wonder why he’d stopped he sent them to me….

From hence forward the interviewee will become the interviewer for the next
willing victim….So once you’ve read this today I will be on a hunt to find
someone to take part next . Then I will forward the list of questions and
instructions how to post on BUT

I will have to CHANGE AT LEAST ONE of the questions in the list

And so it will go on – my interviewee will become the interviewer, finding
the next participant and again changing AT LEAST ONE of the questions before
they forward it on. So taking the onus off Nige, continuing the project and
giving it a life of it’s own!

So who want to be next use email/text/contact button to get in touch

* What do you think your job was in your previous life? Tell us why..*.

I think I must have been a psychologist/guidance counselor in a previous
life, for some reason I’m usually the Agony Aunt, Dishing out advise to all
and sundry my friend Nicky seems to seek my advise on everything and even my
local shop keeper stops me in the shop and asks for marriage counseling -
And I’ve never even been married.

James reckons I was Pippa from Home and Away. I love kids and we’ve usually
got a houseful of TBK friends, I’ve worked as a youth worker, I’ve helped
out at school, taking part in sleep overs, & going on trips, He thinks
(quite rightly) that I’d have a horde of my own given the opportunity

*Whats the story behind your moblog username? Why did you choose it?*

Oh everyone knows this as I answered it on spikes moblog ages ago:

Essitam is Matisse backwards, It’s been my online name since school when in
an IT class the teaches asked us to think of a username.All the “cool kids”
were calling themselves “Sexygal1994″ or “hotchick” and as I was neither a
cool kid, sexy girl or an hot chick I wanted something different.
Inspiration was at hand with a huge Matisse display on the wall i was
sitting next to. I wrote it down, I then rewrote it backwards and is stuck!

* What was your childhood obsession? What happened to it?*

I didn’t have one – seriously. I even called my mom when I read this
question to find out if she could remember something I’d forgotten, The only
thing she could come up with was I used to like emptying ashtrays into the
dustbin, Which apparently amused her no end as neither of my parents smoked
and my dad only ever threw loose change in there and according to her I just
one day stopped doing it aged around 3.

*Where do you go to my lovely, when you’re alone in your head? (Filbert
Fox’ question)*

I try not to spend too much time alone in my head I find it a pretty
worrying place at times!

That’s not avoidance either, I’m being serious. I suffer autophobia
(J.F.G.I.) as a symptom of stress/depression caused (according to the people
in the know) by the sudden death of my Dad when I was just a little Steph.
So I avoid being left alone for too long when I can help it. I’m better now
than I used to be. At one point the panic attacks were so bad I would be
physically sick – now I just sulk lots and get snappy if I’m left alone for
too long!

*If you had to draw a moblog family (and friend) tree, who would you be
linked to, and how?*

Oh now this could be quite interesting, If i were to be literal about this
then there is:

James
TBK
Goonflower
NickyC
Miguel Sanchez
Stato
HippyJack

Who are all really (or via James) related to me in some way and registered
mobloggers and then real life friends (as in people I see in the flesh with
the family mobloggers)

Dicko – although I’m sure he should fall under family
highwirer
aj1905
Rich (not the one with Elvis)
shrontthebaron
baronshubby
GhostMonk08
Spongvid

Then there are the mobloggers who I’ve met in person purely through moblog,
at meets, if cafes (Dhamaka) in shopping centres (Nige) etc. I’m not going
to list them all as I’ve already rambled on too much but my ultimate moblog
family are my ultimate real life family:

Me + James + The Blonde Kid

–
Steph xxx

I can’t quite out my finger on what was wrong. I’d blame it on PMT but it’s not quite that time of the month. I’d blame it on lack of sleep, but I slept just fine. I would even try to say it was over work if it wasn’t so stupidly quiet around here today I just don’t know what it was. I do however know what cheered me up.

THIS blog post over on Moosh in Indy.

It got me thinking, I’ll never be a lot of  things but for everything Isay I’ve missed the opportunity to do I’ve opened up doors to other possibilities so much more rewarding.

So, Here’s mine to add to Moosh in Indy’s list

I will never win a Nobel peace prize,  But I can always make peace between warring 8 year olds!

And that my friends is characteristic that comes in very handy some days when the blonde kid and his friends start!