Weird…But In A Good Way

(oops this has been sitting in my drafts, I thought I’d posted it)

Not Christmas gone, but the one before “Nanny Penny” bought TBK a voucher to become a zoo keeper for the day at Dudley Zoo.

It was going to be awesome we were going to book it and we were going to spend a lovely day meandering around and watch TBK play with the animals all day, but then the rain came, and last summer it rained, and rained, and rained, and rained and just to be helpful, as the deadline grew nearer for the voucher to be used  it rained some more. So, being the diligent parents we are we promptly called the zoo and brought an extension with the hope that a time would come when the rain stopped and we could go.

Finally it did, things started looking brighter and more importantly dryer  so we made the booking, set the date and forged ahead; But wouldn’t you know it as the date came around  it bloody poured down again, but, we thought FUCK IT and went anyway.

TBK got up close and personal with with some animals,  Some he was a lot happier around than others:

He met a rat ( he only wanted to hold it to upset Mom, who doesn’t really like Rats)…

…a chinchilla (his favourite)…

…Mr Lizard …

…a tapir (who is famous, apparently she’s from Longleat and was featured on Animal Park)…

…The Red Panda AKA The Firefox (the geek in me liked this)…

…and the penguins (his all time favourite part of the day).

All the animals had names but I’m damned if I can remember them now.

It was (despite the rain and me getting ill) a lovely day and TBK had a wonderful experience, made all the nicer for him (and us) by the lovely staff he accompanied. They were very informative and answered any questions he (or we) had about breeding programs, conservation etc. and the zoo in general, for instance; Did you know that most the buildings and animal enclosures are listed buildings, hence the desperate need for renovation but lack of planning permission! I didn’t, I feel slightly guilty for judging them over the state of the place now.  Even better though, while there even I made some new friends.

TBK is appearing less and less in my online world. Before now the focus of 70% of my blog and at least 90% of my photography was about him, What we’d been doing, where we had been, things he had said and so on.

He’s disappearing though, not because we do less together, or because he’s any less of a focus in my life but because well he’s getting bigger. He now has more of a say in his life and he doesn’t always want to be put on here, because he’ll say something that he then realises has obviously amused me and his first response is “Please don’t put that on the internet” or I’ll pull out my camera and he’ll run for cover shouting “Don’t take any photos of me!”

So now I have to be more sneaky with my observation, I wait until he’s absorbed in an activity be it his homework, playing with friends or just amusing himself, and then stealthily I point and shoot….

“I…

I feel like I’m missing chunks of his childhood because I simply can’t remember what we were doing when or some of the faces he used to pull, or every little thing he said to amuse me.

I was so absorbed in just coping. Absorbed in trying to bring this “thing” into the world to love him and educate him, to feed and bathe him, and as he got older organise nursery and school and play dates,  all the time rushing around finding babysitters so I could go out and get to work on time.

I was so busy trying to balance his life and my life and still be me and with being a single mom that I forgot to remember and savour every moment. And of course not having a blog or decent camera back then to document it all as it happened meant so much more got lost in the mire that was my brain around that time.

And now he’s getting bigger and I’m begining to realise that soon my now not so little boy wont be be even this little anymore and I’m worried about what else I might forget. I still rush around trying to balance everything out, but now I have help and now I also realise how important it is to stop and remember. You only get one chance at this, so I try to remember and I try take as many photos as possible.

Be it ones he’s posed for, or ones like these when were waiting in the car and he doesn’t even know the camera is about…

…spy…

…until that is I’m spotted and he pulls THAT face and rolls his eyes in THAT way and gives me another ” MOM, STOP TAKING PHOTOS OF ME!” for me to remember!

…busted”

A belated start to my blogging this year – hopefully not a start as I mean to go on.

This is just a quick post to say 2009 is not the year I shall be allowing TBK to have a mullet hair cut* but is the year I shall be learning to use my new camera, exploring new ideas and trying to enjoy myself enormously.

Happy New Year to you all!

*The mullet cut is a whole conversation I don’t have time to blog about now but long story short he asked we addvised otherwise!