I’m not bothered that she told me, dammit I felt sorry for the girl by the sounds of it was hardly a gentle introduction into the monthly merry-go-round of PMS and stomach cramps but it did make me stop and think – I would have been mortified as an early teen if I’d have found out my Mom was walking down the street casually discussing what was going on in my pants with her friends – So what exactly compels us to share so much intimate information about our children with other parents?

As babies we’d discuss sleep patterns and the consistency and texture of poo, in mother and toddler classes it would be first words and and first steps. In nursery and then into school every milestone would be celebrated with clucking and cooing on the playground, the more competitive parents (mothers usually) exaggerating their children’s achievements, the quieter ones ducking the playground politics by discreetly bowing out of my child’s better than yours conversations and now here we are,me and my parent friends in the brink of those dreaded teenage years discussing puberty, periods and mood swings.

So why do we share so much? Are we telling each other all these things to gain reassurance from each other that were doing it right? To get an opinion on things we feel were doing wrong? Are we showing off? Living vicariously through out children, bragging about there progress and achievements, Or are we pre programmed as humans to share things and as parents our children are one of the biggest things in our lives so it’s only natural that these details get shared.

Or is it at as feel some of all of the above?

I returned to work today after a couple of days off with a chest infection, this was waiting for me on my return.

Thank you so much Mark (@cybrum)! I know it was a Christmas present but it also doubled up as an awesome return to work surprise.

Standard camera.

For years the Christmas season starts for me in a flurry of decorating, the tree, the windows, the fire place….  but do I share a tender moment with my devoted son while we choose whether to have the angel or the star atop of the tree this year?

NO BECAUSE HE’D DO IT ALL WRONG!!

I have to decorate in certain way, in a certain order, lights, then ribbon (NOT TINSEL) the fir cones, then the baubles. If anything, in my mind, is out of place it drives me insane, It has in previous years taken me a a whole day just to put up a tree, but even better THEN and only then can the star or angel be put on top  – and this has to be chosen last of all and sometimes not until the day AFTER putting the tree and the rest of the decorations up because once chosen it has to stay there – no swapping and changing AT ALL so this is an important choice!

The colours have to be evenly spread and JUST SO and the fireplace swag has to match the tree and be decorated in the same order at the same  no compromise – as an example of how bad this is when we unpacked and erected the tree this year I couldn’t decorate it!! We’d managed to leave the swag in the loft and I just couldn’t put anything on the tree until this was down too!!  Luckily for me James is very understanding of the crazy and went back up to hunt for it as I could feel myself become quite silly about it!!

Last year was the first year I introduced colour to my tree in the form of bronze and red to go with the well established gold and ivory theme I’ve had going for years in an attempt for make myself loosen up a bit – I’m insane!

All this causes much mirth and derision particularly from my not so understanding sister and much exasperation and frustration from myself.

BUT IF You think that’s bad I used to be worse, much worse, for instance (and  I’ve worked hard at getting over this one because it was ridiculous as I would hunt for days to get this right), the gifts used to have to colour coordinated – the adult presents would be gold or ivory paper with red ribbon and the children’s red with gold or ivory ribbon and wrapped just so….

Notable insane moments:

• The year I unwrapped ALL the presents and started again because they didn’t look right (unwrapping one or two to start again isn’t a rare occurrence in my house BUT all of them is a stretch by even by standards)
• Taking down the tree and starting from scratch TWICE!
• Letting TBK and James hang baubles only to go ahead and move them when I thought they wouldn’t notice because they were in the “wrong” place.
• Point blank refusing to let James bring any of his decorations with him when he moved in with us as they wouldn’t match mine, and then buying him decorations that matched my colour scheme and still refusing to let him hang them on the tree because they’re just not right!
• Finally succumbing to my OCD and buying TBK a tree & decorations for in his room as I didn’t want him to miss out on decorating his own tree and he can have as much tinsel as he likes!

So with all this in mind imagine how I’m coping this year with two very mischievous cats who are spending their first Christmas with us!!

I took the decision early on not to put out my nativity scene and I’m glad I didn’t because they keep knocking things over and pulling things down. They keep climbing my tree and flattening the branches and knocking off baubles  and chewing my ribbon, and yesterday they discovered if they pull hard enough they can pull my fireplace swag clean off the surround thus clearing any obstacles for them to sit on there – somewhere THEY NEVER CHOOSE TO SIT AT ANY OTHER TIME OF THE YEAR.

This year it’s going to be kill or cure for my OCD as I’m either going to have to deal with it – or go not so quietly insane battling with those damn cats – I’m hoping for the first option but as I left for work nearly in tears this morning as I again found my beautiful fire place destroyed I think odds are I’m currently leaning towards the latter!

…So this December has been decreed Good Deed December, my own advent of good deeds.

Between now and Christmas day I plan on trying to complete a good deed each day and hopefully update here and my twitter feed (@essitam) using the tag #gooddeedfortheday, (when I get around to it, I suck at keeping blogs up to date maybe this is the impetus I need).

I’m sure some deeds will be more worthy than others but it’s important to remember the little things also count……

1st December Carried a ladies bags up a flight of stairs.

2nd December Dispatched James to an elderly neighbours to get her shopping list and went to the super market after work just for her (I needed nothing myself)

3rd December took the lovely lady in the post office a Lemsip, she was suffering when she dealt with my parcels and I thought she could do with it.

4th December held a door open for a lady with a pushchair, no other opportunities really presented themselves today, although James and TBK were more successful clearing and salting both our neighbours paths while I was at work – although does working on a Saturday count as a good deed

(bonus good deed for today, bought my boys an advent calendar, as they hadn’t got one…does that count?)

5th December double whammy today. Sorted out my wardrobe and donated all my old things the charity and while shopping we spotted someone getting into their car whose little boy dropped their gloves so TBK and I left the store to reunite gloves and owner.

6th December Went hunting for Epsom salts for fellow twitter user Jayne Howarth and found some, only to have the benefit of the good deed undone on the way home when browsing twitter I discovered she’d already found some should have checked twitter before I embarked on my search….

….but that’s ok because today I also said I’d help my friend promote the charity she works for, Liberty UK. She asked for the extra push from her friends as all donations made through the BIG GIVE website everyday after 10am between today and December 10th will be doubled (up to £20,000)! Check it out and donate if you can.

7th December Volunteered to walk across town to deliver a parcel so my colleagues didn’t have to go out in this cold weather.

8th December Think my sister might be taking advantage of me, I keep getting requests off her – Can you do XXXX for me….it could be your good deed for today! – But as I spent a lot of the day cooped up in the office and then rushing about I obliged her and as today’s good deed I have arranged printing, delivery and framing of my sister’s mother in law’s Christmas present – and if she gets her way tomorrow’s good deed will be another one for her too – maybe my good deed should  just be tolerance of her abuse of my good deed pledge!

•23:30 and a Bonus #gooddeedfortheday just spent 30 mins on the phone helping a friend fill in another application form. When I say help I mean dictating, she’d make a brilliant PA, we seem to have spent a lot of time recently with her taking down what I’m saying over the phone.

9th December fun one today,. It’s TBK’s birthday so I decided to spread a little happiness to everyone else too, myself, my sister and my friend went to the local town, took a tub of sweets to the shopping centre and offered them to anyone we encountered, fellow customers, shop staff or passers by. It raised a few suspicious looks, a couple of frowns but mostly smiles and laughs, with one guy politely declining our offer only to reappear a few minutes later with a laugh to take some of Haribos finest.

10th December Took the time to ask someone I barely know what was wrong when they looked a little down, spent the next hour offering advise and support as it turned out  they needed someone to lean on a whole lot more than you could tell -  sometimes peoples brave fronts crumble when someone cares enough to ask what’s wrong.

11th December Last night was TBK’s birthday “sleep over” we had six 10 & 11 year olds  in our house hence I use the term sleep very loosely, they were up all night so we haven’t actually left the house today, but I still did a good deed – or at least the last guest to leave thinks so.
One of TBK’s friends parents has had to work all day today and he should have gone to his Nan’s when leaving here but he really didn’t want to,  So despite being kept awake until late, woken early and eaten out of house and home, we volunteered to look after him here so he didn’t have to go.

12th December as she was unable to do it herself I spent a good proportion of today scanning in 400+ old family photos for a friend who wants to send a disk to her brother in America for Christmas.

13th December got home from work and noticed a large amount of broken glass in the street so went and fetched the broom dustpan and brush and swept it all up putting it into the bin – slicing my thumb open in the process – DOH!

14th December This good deed each day thing is harder than it sounds when you spend all day sat behind a desk at work, working through lunch and then rush home on public transport to complete Mom duties – Opportunities to help people out or to just do something nice don’t tend to just present themselves when you’re engrossed in WordPress or excel!

Anyway today’s good deed was part good deed, part self indulgence – I offered and subsequently bought a Big Issue seller a cup of tea – he wasn’t actually selling the Big Issue at the time but I recognised him from when I do buy the Big Issue from him – the self indulgent part was I also bought myself a Toffee Nut Latte from Starbucks to treat myself (and flirt with the man behind the counter) at the same time!

15th December Today’s good deed was used to help someone else fulfil a good deed.

I helped a man plot a surprise for a friend. He wanted to send her a card with a cinema ticket in for a film that she really wanted to see and she thought she’d missed on the big screen but  Light House are re running, but he didn’t want her to know it was from him, So I wrote out the card and envelope in an attempt to help him evade recognition and offered to deliver it on my way home.

16th December it appears when opportunity doesn’t present itself I always have the fall back option to complete one of the many things my sister has asked be to do as my good deed, today I went into town to fetch her secret santa gift… Not a gift for her, but a gift for her to give.

Bonus good deed, just been called upon to play nurse to my brother taking him sympathy and soup to his bed as he and his girlfriend both have the lurgy. I’m a good big sister to my siblings I am.

17th December I didn’t get out of work until late so no chance to do anything really…unless you count the working through every lunch break this week, and occasionally staying late to help cover for the various staff who are off work.

18 December messaged my grandparents to check they were ok and didn’t need to go out in the snow, dropped a note to the neighbour with our phone numbers on so she can get in touch with us if she needs anything so she doesn’t have to go out either, lots if weather based good deeds today.

19th December coordinated the clearing of our neighbours paths of snow and ice … The cold weather makes doing good deeds easy.

20th December went to work on the first day of my Christmas holiday and ended up criss crossing town with a pile of letters to find an open Post Office as the one I usually use was flooded  to ensure people Christmas cards were sent out on time – I’d already posted all mine but well i was asked nicely… evening spent the night selling merch at a bands ep launch despite it snowing heavily and not knowing if we’d get home (we did eventually after our train was cancelled and B’ham

……

……

19 January…It’s now mid January and as you can see the last post update I made was  20th December – so did I fail in my Good Deed for the Day mission, NOT AT ALL.

I completed the full 24 days I just absolutely suck at keep blogs up to date and as Christmas came closer I had less time to sit in front of the computer and blog, and even though I have WordPress for Android installed on my phone I just never got around to updating here. I did keep tweeting though through out the whole advent so if you were following me there you would have seen the last of my “Deeds”.

I thought I’d finish this post of with a “Thank You”, Thank you for the encouragement I received from people who read this, friends and strangers on Facebook and Twitter, Thank you to the people who smiled when I did something nice for them, But Thank You mostly for the couple of people who’ve been intouch to say as a result of this post they’d carried out good deeds of their own.

I may suck at keeping blog posts up to date but I can do nice things for others and you can too!!

They could be a love letter, a  sign of friendship or the grandstanding of musical knowledge.

…and I couldn’t have put it better myself.

When I was in senior school I used to swap mix tapes with my friend Jess. We were, in our opinion, the optimum of cool and shared  a mutual love of all the artists and bands the supposed “in crowd” hated, Nirvana, Hole, PJ Harvey, Chilli Peppers, to name a few and with our mix tapes playing through the earphones of our walkman we looked down upon the lesser beings with our musical snobbery. It cemented our friendship and I went on to purchase some of my favourite albums on the back of tracks Jess  included on those now long lost c90′s.

Yet the most impressive mix tape I have ever received wasn’t a tape at all, it was a CD and while I’m sure it started out as a “grandstanding of musical knowledge”   it turned into the greatest love letter I have ever received….

“In Steph’s Honour” given to me by James in December 2005  – 4 months before we became us. He told me then it was an “education” as we liked some of the same music, but he  has since admitted that he was trying to  impress me a little and I have to admit it did!!

Disk 1 – The Rock Show

1. One Armed Scissor (At The Drive-In)
2. A Box Full Of Sharp Objects (The Used)
3. Vessel & Vine (The Lucky Nine)
4. 57 (Biffy Clyro)
5. If You Don’t, Don’t (Jimmy Eat World)
6. The Sign (Foo Fighters)
7. The Graduate (Third Eye Blind)
8. Corduroy (Pearl Jam)
9. Sad and Lonely (Secret Machines)
10. Stockholm Syndrome (Muse)
11. My Tortured Soul (Probot)
12. Superunknown (Soundgarden)
13. Inspire (Cave In)
14. (I Am) What I Am Not (Idlewild)
15. I’m Not Okay (My Chemical Romance)
16. Beating Heart Baby (Head Automatica)

Disk 2 – Late Night Ditties

1. Wishlist (Pearl Jam)
2. I Never Came (QOTSA)
3. Blue and Yellow (The Used)
4. Switching Off (Elbow)
5. Between The Bars (Elliot Smith)
6. Pink Bullets (The Shins)
7. Walking On A Wire (The Get Up Kids)
8. The Light And The Sound (Rocky Votolato)
9. Scary Mary ( Biffy Clyro)
10. And Then You Kissed Me (The Cardigans)
11. Drop (Clarkesville)
12. Amie (Damien Rice)
13. Those Crimson Tears (Ed Harcourt)
14. El Capitain (acoustic) (Idlewild)
15. The Sun (Joseph Arthur)
16. Title and Registration (Death Cab For Cutie)
17. My Sundown (Jimmy Eat World)

Four years and a bit years on I still haven’t made this track listing a playlist on iTunes or on Spotify because nothing compares to the feeling of finding this CD off the shelf , remebering just how much effort went into it and putting it into the player and dancing around my living room. It is such shame that with digital music this is a dying art,  and while Philip John is correct when he wrote that “Spotify needs to get social” I doubt a shared play-list on Spotify or a recommendation on Mflow would have the same feel good impact as picking up something tangible and knowing that someone made it just for you!

Merry Christmas.
Steph
xxx

]]> http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/12/17/merry-christmas/feed/ 0 http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/04/25/rich-and-sal/ http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/04/25/rich-and-sal/#comments Sat, 25 Apr 2009 15:15:42 +0000 Steph http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/?p=534 The other week we went to the wedding of Rich and Sal.

They are two of the nicest people in the world who together make the most wonderful couple. It was wonderful day, fitting to the couple and what they stand for.

A toast

The service was beautiful with readings and prayers from  friends of the  couple, the boys playing during the signing of the register, one of their own tracks “Nothing Stands in Her Way “and a stiring rendition of Blur’s “Tender”.

Pretty in pink

After the service we all went to Fairlawns for the wedding breakfast and reception whereRich and Sal greeted everyone with their usual humility and grace.

The best apple tart ever

It was privilege to be able to share their special day with them.

I only hope that when it’s my turn to get married my day can be as special to me as I’m sure the memories of theirs will be for them.

]]> http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/04/25/rich-and-sal/feed/ 1 http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/03/09/rogue-states/ http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/2009/03/09/rogue-states/#comments Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:22:44 +0000 Steph http://www.weirdbutinagoodway.co.uk/blog/?p=520

Nearly every teenage boy at some point has strutted his stuff playing air guitar in front of the mirror, delusions of grandeur reflected in eyes and dreamed of being a rock star.

90% never pick up an instrument.

5% decide it’s not for then and turn to computer games for amusement.

3% try and then give up after their first few testosterone fuelled gigs citing “artistic differences” as a reason to quit

1% will go on and on trying, jumping from place to place trying their luck at becoming the next big thing, but never really hanging around long enough to make it work.

Then there is the last 1% that will hang in there, persistently playing to the same crowd in the same venues with the same band members over and over again until maybe if they are lucky they will get the break they have laboured for, the break they deserve…

…hopefully these guys will be getting their break soon! They’ve worked so hard, for so long they deserve it.

www.roguestates.net

With support dates with Razorlight, the lovely Andy Burrows (formally of Razorlight) signing them to his new record label “Evelyn B” and the imminent release of their debut EP “Kings of the Ghost Town Mile” things are looking up,

Lets hope this upward trend lasts and they get some major label interest soon and in the meantime check them out!

This is just a quick post to say 2009 is not the year I shall be allowing TBK to have a mullet hair cut* but is the year I shall be learning to use my new camera, exploring new ideas and trying to enjoy myself enormously.

Happy New Year to you all!

*The mullet cut is a whole conversation I don’t have time to blog about now but long story short he asked we addvised otherwise!

Each blogger has been given $6000 (£4022) worth of HP equipment and they get to give it away to whomever they choose, and they get to set their own rules!

I first read about it over on Moosh in Indy who’s only stipulation to enter is “you have to share” and have since then been thinking what would I do with it? What would I do with all that “stuff”? Could I be selfless enough to give it all away, keeping nothing for myself?

As much as I’d like to think I could in this particular instance I know I couldn’t, I mean, Hey, how could I give the HP Photosmart C6380 All-in-One printer away after I’ve been coveting a new photo printer for months and then of course the HP 564 Photo Value Pack would have to stay with it.

Naturally I’d have to have something to process all those lovely photos on as my my desktop just about crashes every time I turn it on hanging 9 times out of 10 on the start up screen until I hit restart and begin all over again. Once it’s switched on it screams blue murder if I open anything intensive i.e photoshop and if I try to do something clever like, oh I dont know check my email and open a word document at the same time the computer says no and the whole thing freezes, so that’s why I’d keep this for myself too. The HP TouchSmart IQ816 PC.

But then what would I do with the rest of the booty? The HP HDX 18 series Premium Notebook PC, The • HP MediaSmart Connect, and the HP Pavilion dv4 series Entertainment Notebook PC (with Windows Live) oh and not forgetting the HP Mini 1000 (with XP) all loaded with either Windows Vista or XP depending on their spec.

Who would be deserving of it? Who would make the most of it? Was there anyone person that would benefit more than anyone else? Could I get away with keeping it all myself (only kidding as tempting as it may be).

I work for a non for profit organisation, could they make use of it?

I used to work for a Youth Club could they use?

My family and friends would they want it?

Of course they all would but none of these people NEEDED it. Work has, as hard as it is to come by sometimes, funding from different arts councils and organisations for IT equipment relevant to the different projects we run. The youth club has a computer suite for the young people to use, they may WANT upgrades but they don’t NEED them. Then my family and friends who I’m sure would all love me if I started handing out computers like Santa does presents at Christmas don’t really need them either, they’ve all in some capacity have computers which are fit for purpose.

So I thought further, what would do if I received all that beautiful booty? I couldn’t decide and as the spirit of the giveaway was to share i thought about not entering.

Then I remembered, It IS nearly Christmas and the season of goodwill to all men and lets face it is all about the children. What if I could help children who really deserved the help and put a smile on someone face, someone who is facing hard times that I can only imagine as an adult, let alone face them as a child. And then I realised the answer was with me all along….

Promise Dreams, This local charity launched in 2001. They “raise money for children who are seriously or terminally ill and provide treatment, help and support for both them and their families. Whether the child would like a holiday, a toy, medical treatment or equipment, or even the chance to meet their favourite celebrity, Promise Dreams is dedicated and committed to help.”

The charity is run by 4 people in an office in Wolverhampton town centre and rely soley on fund raising and donations to help make these children’s worlds a nicer place. They hold events in the building I work in, so I have seen how much work they do and one of my friends sisters received a new motorized wheelchair through them so I’ve seen first hand what a difference it makes to the people they help.

Thats who the rest of the booty could go to, Someone I think truly deserving.

So now I’m cutting it fine, I have no idea when the deadline is in relation to where I am in the world, I just know its in the next day or two so I’m rushing to finish this post and get it in one time. Maybe It’ll be me that’s picked, maybe it wont but at least I tried!!

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