Weird…But In A Good Way

Last September the blonde kid started his new school and shortly afterwards his new teacher Mr Tennant fell ill, after weeks without a teacher they finally appointed a substitute. Miss Southall. She is a fantastic teacher and with in a week of her starting all the kids (and most of the dads) were in love with her, She had them eating out of her hand and the bullying that the blonde kid was suffering, and no other teacher seemed bothered to deal with all but ceased to exist. So that made me a very happy Mommy!

Anyway, it appears not only is Miss Southall an ultra cool teacher, she also has an ultra cool fiancee called Barry, known to the the whole wide world as Baz – the bass player from “The Fratellis”.

He has put in an appearance in class on a couple of occasions, and also came to help out with the Christmas play. The kids are all familiar with his band as (according to the blonde dude) they do P.E to his album “Costello Music”.

Well, The Fratellis are touring again and Monday just gone they were playing the Birmingham Carling Academy which is only a bus and short train ride away (and where we often go to see bands ourselves) So Miss Southall and Barry (I presume) got their heads together and organised a day trip to the Academy.

The whole class (plus a few star stuck parents) made the journey into Birmingham via public transport to interrupt the guys sound check. They got a tour of the venue, shown a lighting desk, visited “catering” (although having visited the Academy plenty of times myself, including the back stage areas, I have no idea where Jordan was trying to describe to me) and to go on the tour bus.

They got to go on stage and look at the instruments, they met the staff of the venue, the crew and then they got to put questions to the boys themselves, The blonde kid asked “Have you ever been booed off stage?” and “Has your amp ever broke during a gig?” always looking on the bright side my son!

As if that wasn’t enough they were then all given T-Shirts which, I believe, they must have had made up especially for the kids as usually at gigs the smallest size you can get is a “ladies” and these were smaller than the smallest ladies! AND (yep there’s more) in a couple of weeks time they will each be getting a signed picture of the band.

The whole class had booklets that were identical looking to the bands tour itinerary, to fill in with details of their day and with questions to ask. On the last page was space for the kids to draw a picture of themselves in band playing an instrument of their choice. Jordan had drawn a picture of himself playing a guitar and when I saw it I thought “At last”.  I’ve been trying to convince him he’d like to play an instrument for ages, I think it would be a good extra curricular activity for him especially as he has shown a little interest in drumming previously,  When I asked him about it he said “Actually mom I didn’t want to be in the band or really play guitar, but I had to draw something there, I do now know what I really want to do now, I want to be a tour bus driver, I went on the bus and it’s easy they have sat-nav, and a mini tv, they get to see all the bands and all they have to do is drive!”

I think that was my dream of having a rich and famous son to look after me in my old age flying out the window but still Jordan has done nothing but talk about his experience ever since, He had an amazing day and I don’t know of any other band who would let a class of 7 and 8 year old kids hi-jack them the morning of a gig and let them stay the day!

My hats is off to them! How is any other school trip ever going to compare with this one??

The other night I was cooking dinner and the blonde kid stuck his head into the kitchen.

“What we having mom”

“Chicken dinner hun” I replied “Chicken, Mash, Broccoli, Yorkshire Puddings….”

His face dropped, “Can I have something different?”

“Why?” I asked. “What’s wrong with your moms cooking?” piped up James “She’s an expert cook”

“Well…” said the blonde kid “She’s not an expert, more like an intermediate. You and me James we’re beginners and mom, she’s an intermediate”

I looked on pretty speechless, as what do you say to that I was impressed that he knew the meaning of “intermediate” and able to use it in context, I wasn’t however impressed that was how my son saw my cooking, I thought all kids were supposed to prefer their own mom’s food!?

Then James asked…

“So Jordan, do we know any experts?”

His response. “No, but if mom cooks two more meals then she’ll reach expert level”

I am no longer impressed, Now I just think he plays to many computer games!!

I was sitting on the bus today on my way home from work, not really interested in what was playing on my Ipod and for once not having my head buried in a book I was listlessly gazing out of the window . Contemplating the world as it passed me by when a man tapped me on the shoulder interrupting my reverie.

“Excuse me love”

I turned in response expecting the usual “Is this seat taken?/do you have the time?/do you know which stop for (insert random place here)”

“Have you been singing? Look at the rain, Yep, look at the rain. There are two things you should never complain about, the weather and your age, you can’t do anything to change either so there is no use complaining about them. Are you taking this all in young un.”

Yes he called me young un – I may have started warming to him then.

“Are you listening? There is no use complaining your weather and your age, You’re taking this all in aren’t you, don’t bother worrying about either as it’ll be a waste of your time and you can’t waste time because you never know when one day you’ll wake up in the morning and find yourself dead”

At that he got up, walked to the front of the bus and disembarked at the next stop.

I was lost for words, How do you respond to a statement like that? All the usual sarcasm that I can draw on in moments like that had deserted me. All I kept thinking was “Cheeky mad bastard, how does he know my singing is THAT bad!?”