Monthly Archives: April 2008

Good News

I…

…am…

…excited!

I have had the most amazing news, well you may find it mildly interesting, but for me it is just so damn amazing and incredibly awesome that I can not wait to tell just about everyone I know!

I received this news A WEEK AGO and I’m only just blogging! I have mentioned it on my social networking pages as status updates come and go, I even posted my “news” on my moblog knowing full well that if it all fell through the lovely people over there would console me if it all went wrong, but I wanted to wait to blog it here.

I’m not sure why I felt it necessary – I think I wanted to make sure it was all going to happen and there was no going back, I just didn’t as there are so many posts of my “glass half full attitude” earlier in the life of this blog I wanted definite good news to share with the world!! So here it is;

I…

…have…

…a…

…new…

…JOB!!!

YES!!! I handed in my notice last week and finish at the jewellers on the 21st May and I start on the 26th May as a Media Centre Assistant for the Light House in Wolverhampton.

I’m leaving the shop with mixed emotions. I’m going to miss all my colleagues SO much and change whether for the better or worse is always a daunting prospect BUT it is going to be such an amazing place to work and after spending 3 years banging my head against the a wall of monotony of the sales culture I needed out, I can not think of a better place for me to move to!

We survived…

The television amnesty is over, not that anyone is bothered. We survived quite well without the grey box in the corner, so well in fact it has hardly been switched on even though it is now “allowed” and both myself and James have dragged ourselves away from the computers outside of the predetermined “shut down” hours with out suffereing any major withdrawal symptoms.

The blonde dude didn’t once complain of boredom, We’re looking into purchasing a different selection of board games for him and we’ve looked online to see what activities are running at out local library. He has even gone as far as to suggest other activities we can partake in AFTER the ban was complete.

He didn’t even ask for the television when he went for dinner at my parents which is amazing as he is allowed free reign of the remote control when he’s there…..I think I can call that MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

For one week only…

I have come to the realisiation that in our house we rely way too much on technology to keep us occupied. If we’re not on the internet, there is something on the television to watch or the wii or playstation to play with so I have made a decision.

As of Monday morning for one week only there are new restrictions coming in place.

There is to be NO television AT ALL, ALL WEEK – Not even BBC Breakfast News (my alarm clock of choice) No consoles AT ALL, ALL WEEK. No computers (and that means no internet) between the hours of 6pm and 8pm EVERY EVENING. I would make it a longer period if it wasn’t for James actually needing to make a living and hence needing internet access.

We are actually going to DO things. We’ve plenty of books, board games, packs of cards and art and craft things so along with the recently purchased Jenga, we have plenty to do indoors. We have the beautiful Staffordshire Green Belt not 5 mins walk from my house and Brownshore Lakes are only 10 mins away. There is the local park and the speedway, There is the newly refurbished nature reserves along the canal all on our doorstep, so its time to go exploring!

The blonde kid in his defense does get out regularly but I’ve become pretty complacent about it so to motivate us were turning off and getting going!! I’m hoping we can get into the habit of looking around us before reaching for the remote. Maybe we’ll need longer than a week to really get over our technology addiction but maybe a week will give us a head start.

Maybe I’m being too adventurous, Maybe the blonde kid will miss Ben 10 and Dr Who far too much and will pack a bag and leave me for the technological safe haven of my parents. Maybe we’ll have too many withdrawals ourselves and succumb within a day and a half – we’ll just have to wait and see!

The best school trip EVER…

Last September the blonde kid started his new school and shortly afterwards his new teacher Mr Tennant fell ill, after weeks without a teacher they finally appointed a substitute. Miss Southall. She is a fantastic teacher and with in a week of her starting all the kids (and most of the dads) were in love with her, She had them eating out of her hand and the bullying that the blonde kid was suffering, and no other teacher seemed bothered to deal with all but ceased to exist. So that made me a very happy Mommy!

Anyway, it appears not only is Miss Southall an ultra cool teacher, she also has an ultra cool fiancee called Barry, known to the the whole wide world as Baz – the bass player from “The Fratellis”.

He has put in an appearance in class on a couple of occasions, and also came to help out with the Christmas play. The kids are all familiar with his band as (according to the blonde dude) they do P.E to his album “Costello Music”.

Well, The Fratellis are touring again and Monday just gone they were playing the Birmingham Carling Academy which is only a bus and short train ride away (and where we often go to see bands ourselves) So Miss Southall and Barry (I presume) got their heads together and organised a day trip to the Academy.

The whole class (plus a few star stuck parents) made the journey into Birmingham via public transport to interrupt the guys sound check. They got a tour of the venue, shown a lighting desk, visited “catering” (although having visited the Academy plenty of times myself, including the back stage areas, I have no idea where Jordan was trying to describe to me) and to go on the tour bus.

They got to go on stage and look at the instruments, they met the staff of the venue, the crew and then they got to put questions to the boys themselves, The blonde kid asked “Have you ever been booed off stage?” and “Has your amp ever broke during a gig?” always looking on the bright side my son!

As if that wasn’t enough they were then all given T-Shirts which, I believe, they must have had made up especially for the kids as usually at gigs the smallest size you can get is a “ladies” and these were smaller than the smallest ladies! AND (yep there’s more) in a couple of weeks time they will each be getting a signed picture of the band.

The whole class had booklets that were identical looking to the bands tour itinerary, to fill in with details of their day and with questions to ask. On the last page was space for the kids to draw a picture of themselves in band playing an instrument of their choice. Jordan had drawn a picture of himself playing a guitar and when I saw it I thought “At last”.  I’ve been trying to convince him he’d like to play an instrument for ages, I think it would be a good extra curricular activity for him especially as he has shown a little interest in drumming previously,  When I asked him about it he said “Actually mom I didn’t want to be in the band or really play guitar, but I had to draw something there, I do now know what I really want to do now, I want to be a tour bus driver, I went on the bus and it’s easy they have sat-nav, and a mini tv, they get to see all the bands and all they have to do is drive!”

I think that was my dream of having a rich and famous son to look after me in my old age flying out the window but still Jordan has done nothing but talk about his experience ever since, He had an amazing day and I don’t know of any other band who would let a class of 7 and 8 year old kids hi-jack them the morning of a gig and let them stay the day!

My hats is off to them! How is any other school trip ever going to compare with this one??

Player Level – Intermediate.

The other night I was cooking dinner and the blonde kid stuck his head into the kitchen.

“What we having mom”

“Chicken dinner hun” I replied “Chicken, Mash, Broccoli, Yorkshire Puddings….”

His face dropped, “Can I have something different?”

“Why?” I asked. “What’s wrong with your moms cooking?” piped up James “She’s an expert cook”

“Well…” said the blonde kid “She’s not an expert, more like an intermediate. You and me James we’re beginners and mom, she’s an intermediate”

I looked on pretty speechless, as what do you say to that I was impressed that he knew the meaning of “intermediate” and able to use it in context, I wasn’t however impressed that was how my son saw my cooking, I thought all kids were supposed to prefer their own mom’s food!?

Then James asked…

“So Jordan, do we know any experts?”

His response. “No, but if mom cooks two more meals then she’ll reach expert level”

I am no longer impressed, Now I just think he plays to many computer games!!

Is this seat taken?

I was sitting on the bus today on my way home from work, not really interested in what was playing on my Ipod and for once not having my head buried in a book I was listlessly gazing out of the window . Contemplating the world as it passed me by when a man tapped me on the shoulder interrupting my reverie.

“Excuse me love”

I turned in response expecting the usual “Is this seat taken?/do you have the time?/do you know which stop for (insert random place here)”

“Have you been singing? Look at the rain, Yep, look at the rain. There are two things you should never complain about, the weather and your age, you can’t do anything to change either so there is no use complaining about them. Are you taking this all in young un.”

Yes he called me young un – I may have started warming to him then.

“Are you listening? There is no use complaining your weather and your age, You’re taking this all in aren’t you, don’t bother worrying about either as it’ll be a waste of your time and you can’t waste time because you never know when one day you’ll wake up in the morning and find yourself dead”

At that he got up, walked to the front of the bus and disembarked at the next stop.

I was lost for words, How do you respond to a statement like that? All the usual sarcasm that I can draw on in moments like that had deserted me. All I kept thinking was “Cheeky mad bastard, how does he know my singing is THAT bad!?”

Not on a “school” night!

I am the April fool.

I wasn’t tricked into believing the ipod mind control accessory actually existed or that Google and Virgin were to join forces and launch “Virgle” and start a “permanent human colony” on Mars. I didn’t believe it when I heard that that to try and increase the popularity of greyhound racing there was to be a trail run of “Dog Racing On Ice” or that there is a new breed of penguins that can actually fly – (actually I was momentarily taken in by that one, the “footage” the BBC had was AWESOME – the wonders of C.G.I but that isn’t why I am the fool.)

I am the worst kind of fool – I should know better and I know I’m old enough to look after myself. I ask for no sympathy but please also don’t judge me I am already in a place of self inflicted purgatory. I feel terrible, my head is fuzzy and I’m tired no not just tired exhausted and it is all my own fault.

I think I did myself the worst kind of damage last night. I attempting to fit myself nicely into the Guiness Book of records, Right into section for idiotic people, somewhere in between the the women who thought it would be a good idea to live in a staple diet of salmonella and the man who juggles hand grenades.

My record attempt was to drink my body weight in vodka.

Ok so that maybe a small lie, just a little exaggeration, I didn’t drink THAT much. I did however drink enough to stumble home at a little before 2am wearing a manic grin that only a person who’s blood alcohol level is actually greater than their red cell count could sport and tell the long suffering James (who in all his brilliance had the foresight to wait up for me as I’d forgotten my keys – again) just how wonderful my night had been (I’d gone out with a school friend I hadn’t seen for the last 12 years) three times over!!

I woke this morning after just under 5 hours sleep feeling surprisingly sprightly. When I sat up and the room didn’t spin I thought I’d got away with it, and when I went to the bathroom and the pain I was expecting to find in there (and have found on other unfortunate mornings) with the bright morning light reflected and amplified by the white walls didn’t materialise I knew I got away with it.

How easily fooled I am.

I bent over to brush my teeth and right there with water swirling before my eyes a foamy mouth and minty fresh breathe it hit me, yup I felt fine, yes there was definitely no hangover, BUT (and there was going to be a but wasn’t there) it is actually quite hard to feel the effects of a hangover while you’re still pissed!!

I did the only thing I could in situations like that I went and collapsed back into bed where I tried to map out my day in the least painful way as possible to aide my sobering up/recovery process

It didn’t take me long to figure not only could I not spend the day in bed wrapped in the comfort of my duvet as I’d have liked, I’d made arrangements to go into Birmingham with the blonde kid and “Nanny Lesley” to see Deep Sea 3D at the Imax, which can be motion sickness inducing at the best of times but was going to be so much worse in my current “state”.

It never even crossed my mind to cancel, they weren’t going to miss out because I have no self control. So I went and I spent my day circumnavigating the hubbub of New Street station and Birmingham City centre and generally having as much fun as you can while waiting for the tipsy light-headedness to wear off and the sick queasiness to begin.

I’ve been lucky despite nearly falling to sleep in the cinema (twice), and the nauseating sweet smell of whatever tooth rotting bag of sugar Jordan had bought while we were in Selfridges wafting across to me periodically I lasted until I returned home again until the “I want to be sick and then curl up and sleep forever” feeling kicked in.

At points this evening the immortal words of many a recovered alcoholic have threatened to pass my lips “Never again!” but I know I’d be fooling no one but myself with false promises . I KNOW have no one to blame but myself so as I sit here pouring self pitying drivel in the keyboard I ask for nothing but maybe a wry smile as I know you’ve all been here, maybe a kind offer to hold back my hair should the sickly feeling progress into something much worse and for someone to pass me a dictionary.

I’m going to bed just as soon as I’ve looked up the meaning of “Moderation”