I’m feeling much brighter about things today, after spending a ridiculous ammount of time trying to sort my head out the last week and spending nearly 6 hours last night crying solidly (and anyone who knows me well enough will know thats not like me) I woke up this morning feeling a little calmer and more subdued.

I sorted out the work problem I hope, or rather I’ve had the work issue sorted out for me, My Assistant Manager has found an extra 7 1/2 hours to add on to my contract so that I dont have to leave where I work now….so that’s one less thing to worry about. Also it was nice to know that apparently I’m a valued member of staff who they actually want to keep working there!

Todays Friday and other than spending the last week feeling sorry for myself I haven’t done a lot (unless you call my manager taking to calling me pie-face an event?? no I dont get it either).
The weekend is here and what have I got planned…erm friday night well obviously nothing as i’m sitting here writing about it but I am planning on watching some more 24 (I’m 16 hours into Season 3 now),

Saturday I’m spending the day with my son, Dont know what were going to do yet probably some baking or painting although painting might not be such a good idea as last time I had that bright idea I painted him BLUE!!! (dont ask),I really should get some phots up on here to show you what I’m talking about. On the evening I’m going to a once in a lifetime gig LOL!! Some friends of mine have got together to put a gig and if i’m totally honest i’m a bit dubious of what to expect…check out their web site and see what i mean at www.scrat.co.uk . Whatever happens it’ll be a good (amusing??) night. Then Sunday I’ll be meeting my mom in Walsall with my son to take him to the art workshop at the local Art Gallery, Sunday evening will be the usual mad dash to make sure I got everything ready for school/work the next day.

So thats me probably wont post again till next week and by then I’ll probably have found something else to complain about… I should try not to spend so much time alone I’m a much happier person when I’m around others! LOL

I have to find a new job, I’m gutted cause I LOVE WHAT I DO!!! It just doesn’t pay enough. And even though I’m due a payrise in November I’m still not going to have enough hours for the payrise to do me any good!!!

So I started looking….. I’m a hard, considerate worker, I’m a fast learner and have 100ttendance and punctuality record in my current place of employment….YET NOBODY WANTS TO EMPLOY ME,

WHY…cause I’m a single parent!!! Thats not the official line of course but theres always an excuse!!

I cant start before school hours and I can’t work the first weekend of every month cause I haven’t babysitters for those times BUT I’m more than happy to work up untill 18:30 everyday and the weekends I’m free but no one wants to take me on…as soon as tey start with the questions like…”What will you do if your son gets ill?”, and “Who willl care for him during school holidays?” I may as well pick up my stuff and leave….don’t get me wrong I always get the party line of “Not enough experiance” or (and this is my favourte) “You’re over qualified” but in reality its more a case of “We dont want you cause your a Mom”

IT’S ALL SHIT!!!

It’s just past the middle of the week and I have nothing to say….

Monday – Did nothing.
Tuesday – Took son to football training then did nothing.
Wednesday – Picked son up from friends on the way home from work then did nothing.
Thursday – Nothing planned.

I have the horrible feeling that life is just passing me by, since I split with my ex and fell out with my best friend all within a week of each other I feel well…out on a limb, It feels like that first day in school where everyone seems to know everyone else and exactly where they’re supposed to be and there I am wondering around with no one to ask for help cause there is no one there to talk to….I miss having someone to call just because and to say “Hi” occasionally, regardless that I have nothing of interest to say. I miss just sitting with someone or knowing the next time I’m going to get an adult conversation, As it is I seem to wake up day after day and if i dont make any plans I wont be doing anything cause I know no one will call me to make plans to do something.

Hmmm..I’m going to go before this turns into a real sob story!